The Other Side of the Story

We humans are proud of things which are the cause of greater sufferings in our life. The best example being "consciousness" which makes us different from other animals. But consciousness is what brings art in our world and moreover the ability to appreciate, enjoy and perceive it. Art, on the other hand is not every human's slave. That blessing is reserved to a few lucky ones only. Some of them, the world knows today as Michelangelo, Picasso or M F Hussain etc. while many others have lost their names to brutal time. Some of these never wanted to be famous and others didn't stand a chance.

Who designed Sphinx of Egypt? How many of you know the name of the guy who designed Taj Mahal! (Oh, it never crossed my mind)

All I mean to say is there are people in the world who are unknown and not familiar but their works continue to astonish us. When I found the subject of this post, I was amazed, because in the years I have known her and taught her, I never got to know about her art. Once I knew about her art, I went back home and showed the pictures to my sister in law and I was even more surprised to know that my sister in law has similar talents. Now this is embarrassing. Funny part is we all appreciate art but when a kid wants to follow it lifelong,  most parents become insecure and they are not wrong, as all they want is their kid's well being. They know the society and they have seen more, than we have. But whatever, Indian parents do not like anything off the leash, Medical and Engineering still being the favorites as they don't see anything else, specially something as lame as being an "Artist" as a career option. Its the attitude of society that matters and society is made up of individuals, so its the attitude of individuals which make the attitude of society.

The other side of the story is for every girl who fails to express herself or does not express herself in the wake of the emerging conditions around her. But true passion is the key. Dreams do come true.   All you need is STRONG WILL.

Time to fulfill the promise. Its for you and all the girls, who want to live their dreams and live them.

Here is some of my student's work, go through it, and please write back if you liked the work or in case you are interested in knowing more about her work. Her resources are diverse ranging from daily items to Gemstone powder for her art. Try to spot newspaper rolls, sponge, toothpaste drawings and much more. Here are the some pictures for you. If you see a camera flash, blame it to my photography skills.

Kids, here it goes for you. I hope you will like it :).

Nib Painting

Tress

What to say

Only she can elaborate

Kisna

Guess whats used for this

Some of her work

Pen Stand, Toothpaste art

Costly it might be, Gemstone powder are the different colors

Cheers,
Saurabh.

Soldier of Fortune

Born to be a Soldier, of Fortune
little did he know,
roamed around the cities of desert
with the colors & music of sand

Amidst the clanks of Kanche
& strums of Gulli Danda
little did he know,
he was born to be a soldier, of fortune.


Lone, he moved, authoring his own strokes,
sorting the terrene riddles,
little did he know,
whats waiting for him, next

The storms of desert erasing his footsteps,
come to rest in the sands of time
little did he know,
'A stitch in time saves nine.'

The Loner clamped the company of sailors
He danced on the deck, savored the crab, relished the salmon & fancied the crazy claim
little did he know,
accidents do happen, out of the blue

The horizon on the sea, beautiful,
waves, calm & composed
little did he know,
face facts of the sea, chivalry of Poseidon, deceit of pirates and rivalry of sea & desert.


Born to be a soldier of fortune,
fighting a lost war
little did he know,
he will never be a loner again

Accidents do happen & will never cease to happen,
All good things comes to, who he waits
Born to be a soldier of fortune,
little did he know.



Saurabh.

Conversations! (for the, by the, of the, Research student)

An old friend after having some regular chit chat and greetings, asked me about my current lab. How is your new lab.? Are you fitting in? 

(How can I tell him/her that I always fit  in the lab, somehow just not the Boss.. :D)

He continued, " Are you satisfied?

(Tell me one research student satisfied with his lab and Boss at the same time, :P. And I will tell you, you know what, its not the Boss's fault too. I have heard it a lot from respectable personalities, some of them retired scientists of a premier research institute in India, that G N  Ramachandran (Fame - Ramachandran maps) was a horrible guide. When I say horrible, please don't imagine your Boss. He used to ask his PhD students to work from 7 am to blah blah and a lot of more blah blah. Oh! Did i just interrupt your interest? Boooom. You thought you are going to read some shit about some great personality. Nopes.. these things are fun only worth listening from fellow research students. Well when I was gossiping about this with my flat mate, I got to know that his mother was a PhD student under G N and she told him that C V Raman, Boss of G N Ramachandran was more of a tyrant. People who think G N was something, C V would have been a real monster to them. So, you see, my point is G N behaved as his Boss did with him. This is why I think that there is no point in abusing the Boss, because some day we might also become like them, and then there will be others abusing us. :D)

After a flash of all this I thought of replying, "Yes, I am", instead I went ahead with changing the topic.

Are you done with shopping for your wedding? (He is getting married soon. Its a punishment for a punishment (PhD), yet a dream of every research student.)

But he is quite strong willed person, ignoring my question, he continued, " Are you planning to join a PhD./?/! (Since there were no punctuation marks, I thought of all of them, but couldn't get it anyways.)

Of cos, 'm trying.

 He continued,"You have to change your life." 

(That I did, when I thought of coming to research.)

But I went ahead like this, " What are you talking about? (I really had no idea, there are so many things in my life, what to change?)

Are you trying to get a PhD?

Of cos, 'm.

Then join a PhD?

For that, I should get a position.

I will give you an advice. 

("Ok, here it comes." I thought.)

Change your life./!/? (I hope, by now you know what it means.)

Explain.

You know what I am talking about. (For God's sake and Devil's heaven, I don't know, really)

This is not what we have been taught.

Explain in detail, don't talk riddles.

I think I am very clear, you have to change the way you think. OK! let me re-frame it. You have to change your path, the Path of your life.

(Oh, damn it, its too late to leave Science, I can't even appear for any of the civil services now.)

What can i do? What are you talking about? (Its like an Immunology class I used to take, where the Prof. used to jump from one thing to another unrelated thing and after a while I used to loose track of the original. I can bet, even the professor used to.)

You can do a lot! Don't waste your time on all these. Time is very precious. You have to start thinking something on other lines. If you want to join PhD, then be direct.

(Oh God, finally I got somebody. with whom I can discuss about her. Oh God, finally somebody is interested in my old, boring, weird story.)

I wish I could waste my time on her. But I have a lot of problems to deal with besides her.

I am not talking about her. (Day Dream crashed). She will be yours, if you are truthful and not stupid.(However lame, but it felt good)

After talking about the research and the life associated with it for a little while longer, we said good byes and here I am to write all that off.

TO BE CONTINUED..
(in the next Conversations!)

Saurabh.

Note - This is a spoof of the conversation I had with my friend. In case you find it boring, its because, I spiced it with the flavor of a normal research student's life and you are definitely a research student then.

Darkness Revisited - The Moment

Our brain gives us the power to visualize things without a movie screen. In real life we can only look at one screen, but in our brain we are simultaneously able to see a lot of different screens.The events which had taken a couple of hours or may be days, may be months to finish can just be visualized in moments. Imagine the power of brain, the kind of multitasking it performs. This power reaches its zenith during the last moment - Death. Everything that has happened happens once again and this time it all happens in a moment. The moment of death provides the life its climax.

Recently I have been fascinated by the concept of Death. It is as true as the life is. Its just a moment, yet it complements a whole lifetime. The more we are scared, the more we will be thrilled by the beauty of that moment. Everything would vanish and everything would make sense and all of it in a moment. There it comes like a flash and you seem to lost in it forever.

When I am writing this post, I smile at myself. I have the luxury to live my life without the hardships, I have seen in lot other lives, yet I write this note, because I can afford the luxury to write this note and think in this manner. There are millions out there who struggle to get their second meal of the day and I sit here, nicely in air conditioned rooms to think, express myself and write my blog, yet I don't think it takes away the beauty of their moment.

Its the moment which is entirely yours, nobody else has even a bit in it. Nobody needs to fight for it to own it, as it was always theirs and always will be, till the eternity. All the lies vanish and only the ultimate truth prevails - Death.

The Blue Hood!

There is somebody in the blue hood,

'could see the black mark,
& the shining metal
Lips pierced &
a flash of fire in the hands,
I think its me
a funky version of me
trying to weld the connections

the blue hood is falling on the face,
couldn't see the eyes thus,
spotted the ring though
reflecting the flash,
the serpentine S,
I think its me
in the dark humid cave
trying to weld the connections

Standing, stiff,
His hands with the flash, steady
trying to weld the connections, perfectly
but the heat 's too much
to continue dreaming
I open up my eyes
all covered in the sweat
& my fingers trembling.


Saurabh.

From Stroll to Stride

On the wheels, I whirl, I spin, I move
Clouds too whirl, then darkness spins
A lightning bolt, then the deafening sound,
Then it pours,
N the fire flies go dim
I dont amble, I dont whisk
Opening my hand, gawking above, I dont decline
Three winks! Drenched n detached from the me wrenching myself,
I wheel as  "The Lance Armstrong"

Heavy pours invite a stroll
Cats and Dogs pouring down dismay Rats, ROFL!
Oust as Prince Zuko, I stroll
Surrendering myself to  the Zephyr
Same trail but with virgin looks
Hypnotic green, drenched, raise me to the Oblivion
Shimmering in the distant are two dim lights
N I tramp like " The Supertramp"

Beginning of the ultimate inception, I touch
Extending my arms to the cries of sky
Dont know the destination of this alley
Trying to think what 'm anticipating
Though without any charge on my shoulders
Flickering in the near distant are two lights
I hike as " The Aron"

'm I tears, I dont know
Even the silence has sulked
Nothing's in my head
Green n Brown, Pink n Purple hues
Repose the folioles, within
Distant lights are passing by now
I stride as " The me"

To the Aisle,
where birds peep, cheep, chirp, quaver, tweet n warble
From the stroll to the stride
's a short walk of hues n blues
The fringes have passed by
Arena's clear n so 'm I.


Saurabh.

The Start!

I do not care, whether I die today or tomorrow,
For I had my share of joys n sorrows
I do not care for bliss n boons
For I had my share of dooms n booms
Lows n highs, Ups n downs, failure n success are cycles in life
Death is just another phase,
‘Life n Death’ is just another cycle
 N Death’s just the gateway to another life
I do no fear death,
For I have died countless times before
I do not fear losing life
For I have lived it
I do not long for heaven
For I have mine with my parents
I am not scared of hell
For I am a devil myself
I am not leaving my friends,
For I am treasured in their memories
I am thankful
For I had such an imperfect life
The Imperfections n The Flaws are just a way back
To the round trip of Perfections n Laws
Death is not the end,
It is just a way to walk back to life
I do not care for love n hate
For I had my walk through the garden of stings n springs
I do not fear death
For I am ready to embrace it, the way I did life
I do not care, whether I will die tomorrow or day after tomorrow
For I had my share of joy n sorrows

Saurabh.

A reason to celebrate!

Stupid is as Stupid Does!
--Forrest Gump.

Four years back, when I first watched this movie, I had no idea how time will unfold itself before me. I had my dreams with me then, I have them with me now. Though I have no idea which one of them is going to come true, and in which order. I was walking then, I am walking towards them, as I write this. I believed in myself then, I believe in myself today. I believed I can write my destiny, I still can, though I don't want to write it myself anymore. This movie brought all the moments I have passed through and all the situations I have been through, sad, glad, depressing, rising, all the friends (gladly I don't see any enemies, from the position I stand) I met during all this time. The fine best moments, I had with my juniors, stupid I was, definitely was. Every moment I spent with them is a gift to my later life. My bloody finger stunt, who could ever forget that. Then some friends whom I can always look back and smile, just by recalling them and the conversations we had. Some friends who dared to call me a stupid, as I was, in front of everybody, anybody, anywhere, and believe me that made me feel glad. A few I told everything about myself (I mean all I knew about myself at that time) and know about them (of course all they knew about themselves at that time). Of course, all the time I spent in IIT, my best favorite friend were Chocolates. I never left them and they never left me. They always helped me in getting my things done, took me out of my depression several times and gave me the time of a lifetime. Dibesh, I always hated you for being so perfect ut in course of time I have seen your imperfections and I love you for them. Then the leaving part, I still do not know how I felt, but I remember Ashwani , his tears, when I was leaving. He didn't felt ashamed of crying, being a guy and he cried. One can call me anything, but I felt good when he cried, made me feel kind of important.

Then came a easy part, deciding about career. Punjab was definitely fun. I can literally see every moment I came across with Rahul , reading Ayn Rand, going to dhaba next to Lucky dhaba. I didnt knew its name then, how can I recall it now. Rahul abusing me from his room, unknown of the fact, that my parents are with me, in my room. The trip to Dharamshala, the most unique trip I ever had. Smuggling you inside LPU, Rajasvi from those water clogged fields in post mid night was definitely worth it. Sumo, Chocolate Cigars, something, Sumo stuck in the small river we tried to cross, I think that can sum it up.

Germany was definitely a journey worth taking. Nobody in the history of MPI's had got drunk the night before the interviews. But everything happens for a first time and it did too. There are incidents, I would define them as accidents, when every one of us becomes mature, I would say one starts to loose their innocence. So it happened. I matured. Swati, Roli, Ankita, Parkash, you are the craziest and loveliest people around. Crying was never that much fun, Sonal.

The Five Bastards started with only one bastard, eventually increasing to five. The two Italians, one German and an Iranian and sometimes a pretty Ukranian, the restaurants we visited, flammkuchen, oberursel, whenever I think of it, I am able to smell it, right under my nose. The stupidest talks we had, I can never imagine them without you, Bastards! Thorsten, I miss the conversations with you. Badminton was some sport I tried in Frankfurt, Thanks Badminton, but you are not fun without my usual Badminton buddies.

Fucking awesome Frankfurt! I have adored you, the way I love Jaipur, the city I was born. I miss your streets, I miss shopping (oh yeah, I am a shopaholic guy, I love watches, sport gears, novels and anything which has an element of NEW feeling in it, or everything which reminds me of my sweet memories) with Roli, it was fun, how we used to persuade each other to shop under the pretext that we are stopping each other.

I could literally see all this streaming before my eyes, while watching this movie again today.

And if people say, If I do not get over my past, I am stupid, then I would reply,
Stupid is as stupid does..:P

Tak.

Life is definitely a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
--Forrest Gump

I realise, I am definitely a man of celebration, as I was quoted this by a old friend of IIT, whom I met accidentally at NCBS, Bangalore.

IN BRUGGE

Up the tower,
In Brugge.

On the flow,
In Brugge.

Wander the streets,
In Brugge.  

Kiss a stranger,
In Brugge.

Drink till Dawn,
In Brugge.

Throw on the way,
In Brugge.

Pee in the river,
In Brugge.

Over the Bridge,
In Brugge.

Play the booty,
In Brugge.

Fuck the destiny,
In Brugge.

The Same!

Bee sting on a frost bite,
Noise of fallen leaf in silent lake,
Feel of the first string,
First Broken string of guitar,
my first proposal & your denial
feels all the same!


Tak!

The Story

All the characters have evolved and matured, some as I imagined, rest and most beyond my imagination.

I realize its not only the plot a reader likes to know, the reader is most interested in how the story unfolds itself and perhaps this unfolding has the capacity to give the reader goosebumps. The unfolding has everything to do with how a certain character makes his/her choices.  Its how a certain character and eventually all characters of the story change along the course of the time and story. How much these characters take from their surroundings, how much they retain their old, how much they are still themselves? or they have completely evolved into a new person? Why have they changed? Just to maintain their pace with the world or to outrun it.  Its going to be a good tale, definitely going to be a good one.

And if this note gives you the idea that I am going to pen down a story, then I disappoint you here. I do not have the capability to bound the story into few pages, because it never ends. The story keeps going on. Along with this unfolding of the story the reader too experience changes and himself becomes a part of a bigger story. I enjoy being a silent observer and I am waiting for the story to unfold itself. I am already having goosebumps.

Saurabh Tak

Awkward Moments, Oops!

How many times have you felt like hiding your face inside the earth, not because you have done something wrong, but it was just awkward. I list here some incidents which I have seen around me, you are welcome to add yours. Enjoy your guts!

• You write a mail to apply somewhere & forget to attach your CV along with it.

• Your friend comes in sporting her new T-shirt with a logo in front and you try to read it, too focused!

• You are travelling with a Bengali in a foreign country (let’s say Sweden, where local people don’t understand Hindi) and your friend from Delhi tells you, “Yaar ye banda itna bhi bura nahi hai”, (this guy is not so bad after all) while standing next to Bengali fellow. (Bengalis Understand Hindi!)

• You are in group of friends and your sisters’ boyfriend, one of your friends, is also there along with your sister.

• Your family is expecting somebody at home and you come out of the kitchen shouting the person’s pet name at your home, only to find that person sharing the same room.

• You went to see the girl you like and you start suffering from bad stomach.(Nervous)

• You forward the mail sent to Mr. Y for summer training to Mrs. X but you forget to change ‘Dear Sir’ to ‘Dear Ma’am’.

• You are helping your friend to write an application and at the end you write Regards, and your own name instead of her name.

• When one of your female friend see you near girls hostel and comment, “Tu toh bas yahi bas ja”, not knowing that your mom is standing behind you.

• When everybody is saying Number One, Number Two and so on according to their birth dates and you shout, “I am Sixer”.

• You are with a group of Chinese friends, and one of your Indian friends ask one of the girls, if she knows Kung Fu, during their first meeting. 

 

• You are an Italian guy in Germany and order a Pasta in a restaurant, but after tasting the pasta with black pepper over it, you shout, "I do not want Indian Pasta", not realizing that an Indian is also among your friends there.

Disclaimer :- None of these have any direct or indirect correlation with any person dead or alive.

Darkness

The dark corridor, today I understand, it was left that way, dark! I never could explain myself why a corridor in the midst was left dark. Today I do. The darkness there was after all not darker than the darkness dwelling inside people there, or the darkness these people are living in or the darkness many of these are going to be a part of soon and all of us someday.

Darkness, what an expression! Darkness, an expression for sadness, madness, fear, and above all an emotion, mother to all emotions.

There is a popular saying, “without fear there is no courage.” But how many do understand the meaning beyond the literal meaning. Well to me, it goes like this, ”Without fear there is no courage, without courage, one can’t be free, without freedom, there will be despair and with this despair one will soon start fathoming the depths of darkness. He will be alone there and will be frightened and therefore have to find courage to get out of there. Now I see darkness as the motivating factor to find one’s own courage, though we hate this very emotion. 

Some  will want to get rid of darkness as this is the only face of darkness to them, as was to me, when I was in dark corridor for the first time. Horror and terror of darkness was gone that day. Dark doesn’t seem to be that dark, though it felt more like myself, I felt closer to darkness in that bright sunny day.

Mysteriously most of us seek dark, although we detest it consciously. A child hides in a dark corner when her mother tries to give him a bath. Kids too try to find the darkest space, where nobody can see them, while playing Hide and Seek. A Caravan in the desert seeks a dark oasis with dark shadows of trees around.

Being a student of science myself, I will explain a little about darkness. What color you imagine if I ask about the darkest color? Black! Well black is defined as where all light gets absorbed, or you can say the amount of absorption is significantly greater than emission, so if you think about it there is more light contained in Black than light itself.

We come in contact with darkness before we come in contact with light. We come to life or light after nine months of darkness. Darkness gives life to life. Furthermore a man seeks the darkness of a woman to procreate another 9 months of darkness. Then why darkness is so dark, why?

I can never forget the moment, I befriended darkness and darkness like an old friend embraced me. I cried, I shouted, I kicked and I cursed darkness, the same darkness which let me in, in my moments of despair and pain. However darkness did not betray me, it kept its promise to withhold my cries within and my despair and pain disappeared in its own darkness.

Even the greatest source of light on earth, The Sun, gives you moments of darkness if you dare to stare it for a while. Universe originated out of sheer darkness, and may be one day when all stars have turned into Black holes or Neutron stars, it will be dark again, complete dark! So dark isn’t that dark. Still we detest the color of origin and Apocalypse.

On the contrary light displays your tears to world, and the world in turn does its best to keep those tears alive during the course of time and this is when light disowns you and one start seeking a shelter with dark. However darkness forgives one each time and holds within it as long as one wants.

I thank the destiny to put such a day in my diary of life, so that I understand the true nature of darkness.

Love you Darkness,

Yours dark friend!

Identity!

I always had a special interest in folklore and I have always been a fan of puppet shows. So, when after two years, I had a chance to spend my summers in India, I took this as an opportunity to enjoy puppet shows. Isn't it amazing to see something tied with strings and dancing and acting on the command of these strings? So I bought a whole season ticket of Puppet shows organized by Rajasthan Kala Kendra. Owing to my strong imagination or blame it to the time of these shows, which used to be immediately after lunch, I had an excuse to day dream during the shows. Puppets and lots of puppets talking to me about their dreams and asking me about mine. One such puppet was Shah Bahadur Khan, a prisoner puppet trying to escape, though failing in every single attempt, it made, became closest to me. One day Shah Bahadur Khan asked me, " Are you a free man?" I said,'Yes, I am'. The puppet smiled sheepishly. I felt like its puppet way of asking me to free it. Puppet wanted to be free, it doesn't wanted to dance anymore on puppeteer will. So that day after the show was over, I stayed a bit longer, till the curtain curls down and everybody leaves. Immediately afterwards I went backstage, cut the first string and went for the second one. Though the puppet was not free. The first string was still attached! Then I noticed a knot in it. The puppet reattached itself. 

"What are you doing?” I asked.

"What are you doing?” Shah Bahadur replied firmly.

I am setting you free, my friend. You don't have to act anymore. You can be yourself now, looking into his big eyes, I replied.

But I am myself. I want to be a free, outside the prison, but within this play, on this stage. This is who I am. The strings, hold me as who I am. These strings bring life to a puppet like me. Do you realize a puppet won't be a puppet without these strings?

I thought you wanted to be like me. Shah Bahadur gave a sharp smile and said, "We are exactly the same. The difference between my strings and yours is that mine are visible and yours are not!"

I felt a jerk on the old broken chair in the Rajasthan Kala Kendra bhavan, and I came out of my own personal show. The show and  the season were both over.

Shadow

Her shadow moved,
west to east
She sat there, 
all the long, all alone
Had she noticed? 

The shadow was weaker,
by the twilight.
On the ridge she sat,
as if gazing in zilch.
Sand around her,
turned gold to silver
Had she noticed
the Alchemy of desert? 

She sat there
all the long, all alone.
Shadow occupied the rock,
with all the grace.
Dunes altered around,
as if a shifting maze,
Had she noticed? 

She sat there 
all the long, all alone.

Farewell

It’s not the end,
It’s not the end, but I got the farewell. 

Journey hasn’t kicked off yet,
I dream of adventure. 

I never looked back,
I can feel you still. 

Even while moving forward,
past walks ahead of me. 

It’s not the end , 
but I got the farewell.

Voyage is not set,
yet I hear the waves. 

I don’t have fins,
I see myself a mermaid. 

Sailing to East,
Water is waving to West. 

It’s not the end,
but I got the farewell.

Red, Cold & Steel

There’s a gunshot somewhere
loud & clear, 

Everything’s dark & humid
clock’s turning back,
cold breeze knots then,
when the pendulum swings in the darkness. 

It’s red in here
& it’s red on me.
Sound‘s coming out of nowhere. 
Never experienced the silent sounds,
counter the whirlpool,
well of course, with me. 

Something cold & steel‘s there.
Lightning stuck then,
Clock turns back to future. 

Breeze’s warm,
but I‘m cold. 

It’s red in here
& it’s red on me.

PEACE

Over the fence, 
for small measure of peace, 

Be the Samurai,
uber, the days of Samurai were gone.
To the sky, 
a dove showed up,
the bird of peace 
‘s down with a shot.
Rower the Himalayas,
just for a measure of peace,
I seek,
A monk shows up,
Buddha w‘s gone,
long before I’s born. 

Over the fence,
for small measure of peace,
went to a psychologist,
to drive her mad.

Back of beyond the fence,
Blinked the Blank,
& I ‘m back.

INDIA calling !

Sondhi sondhi si bass
helmet ke sheshe ki darar se,
Doodh ke laddo aur Cola
Bus ke kiraye se,
ho jaye chai ek
Jane anjano ke chillar se,


India calling, bhai India calling


Dhoom ki Bikegiri
Broom broom
college hostel ki dadagiri
Police vale ki siti
wrong side me main chali


haiiii, India calling bhai India calling


Saras ke Paneer pakode
Bas shaam dhale
Nukkad vale halwayi ki boondi
aur chilke vali mungfali
Tab hum chale


India calling, ji India calling


Katti Kaat ti manchali Patango ki Dor se
hum jhoole Badalo ki goad me
Bikhara hua aasman vijay sthamb ke chor se
simiti hui jameen registan ki Aoad me
keh rahi,


सोंधी  सोंधी  सी  बास
हेलमेट  के  शीशे  की  दरार  से !

India calling ji India calling!

Love ya Brownie!
July 16, 2011.