Far from Home

Painted in multi-color,
I wanted to sue the host,
but I ain't a lawyer.

Aroused by the massage,
I wanted to marry the lad,
but I ain't taking that passage.

Drowned in the cookie,
I wanted to speak,
now, its all a blur.

Am i sleeping or its a deep blue sea?
Please, see past the waves,
I am more than just a fantasy.

The weed hasn't kicked in yet,
smoke's not cleared,
guess what - I am winning every Poker lot.

The ride, with slow brakes, is hard to steer,
Its Jack's car, life ain't so different,
if accompanied by a Belgium beer

The road is smooth, and the lane is set,
yet, there are warm clouds,
Its Nelly's smoke, life ain't like that.

I guess, 'm far from home,
though, it feels like home,
the blue sky and the warm sun,
Nelly and Jack, with a bun.


Saurabh.

Road Trip

On the foggy window glass,

In the snow that raw,

My finger rubbed past the dew,

To catch a glimpse,

Of fog and benumbed,

Outside of the car window.

My eyes desire a little sunshine,

My skin, a little warmth.

Ears urge for her chirping,

Lips, the touch of hers,

Hands, a stroke in her hairs,

Body, to have a shadow besides hers.

The sun shined shyly over the meadows,

To hide back in clouds,

As if it kissed the snow - a good foggy day.

Conifers stand tall, covered in snow as if a white ghost,

Sailing with the wind, snow shifted -revealing a green arm,

Only to muddle the sleeping fox beneath.

Relishing in my state- haywired,

A smile played on her, if only, for an instant,

to leave me mortified.

My devotion for her- untouched.

Masked, my feelings rattled,

Green eyed- I explode.

Saurabh.

Letting go!

The toys, that broke,

The promises those never fulfilled,

Deals, that never closed,

The walks those ceased,

Life is, but, an act of letting go.

The memories, that soaked,

The straw u wanted,

The umbrella, that reverted,

The leg that limped,

Life is, but, an act of letting go.

The nail bites that never healed,

The bite, that resembled a kiss,

The tears that never stopped,

the breaths with steady sobs,

Life is, but, an act of letting go.

Conversations, those abrupted,

'coz of the gleam in your eyes,

Future, that went awry,

All, but is an illusion,

Life is, but, an act of letting go.

Tak.

Anamika

आँखें खुली  नहीं  थी अब तक
तीन अंगुल बराबर सी थी
नन्हे से हाथ और
नन्ही सी उन पर अंगुलियां
नन्ही सी थी, मेरी बच्ची

निकट वाले कक्ष में
अब भी मेरी अपनी, उलझी थी ज़िन्दगी मौत की कश्मकश में
इस नन्ही को फिर एक बार देखा
कहीं दूर थी ये तो
ज़िन्दगी की जद्दोजेहद से

निकट कक्ष में, समीप मेरी अपनी के
दिन रात में और रात दिन में विलीन थे
चैन की एक सांस थामने को अरसा हुआ था
दिन ऐसा ही कोई, परिचारिका ले गयी
वहां जहाँ एक नहीं, दो नहीं, कहीं से नवजात, नन्हे थे

फिर थाम, मेरी नन्ही को
अपनी नज़र में भर कर
कुछ ठहर कर, ज़िन्दगी को भूल कर
उसे निहारा, फिर सराहा, मैंने शायद पहली बार
होले से मेरी अनामिका को उसने भर लिया मुठी में अपनी

मेरा ही अक्स, मेरी ही परछाई
मैंने प् लिया, जैसे मेरे जहाँ को
पलख उसने भी उठाई मेरी और
समझ न पाया मैं, की क्या वो मुस्कुराई
जान मेरी, मेरे जिस्म से उसमे पिरो गयी

 अद्भुत, दिव्य है
कोमल सी है
मेरी नन्ही परी
मेरा ही अंश
मेरी बच्ची !



सौरभ।

kal sa nahi

आँख खुली तो, काले आसमां में वो दिखा
खिड़की के शीशे से, मेरा ही अक्स मुझे ताक रहा था
साँसे गहरी थी, वक्त कुछ डेढ़ सा था
खिड़की के झरोखे से, आसमां से, कोई और भी मुझे देख रहा था
मैंने भी कुछ पल के लिए निहार लिया उसे

सोचा था मैंने, बस अब नहीं, कभी नहीं
पर, आज ना जाने क्यूँ , कल सा नहीं
शीशे में जब ताका, मैंने मुझको, एहसास हुआ
दाढ़ी कुछ आ गयी है, बाल तो वैसे ही है, बिखरे हुए
क्या कुछ बदला भी है या सिर्फ मेरा ख्याल है

ना जाने क्यूँ, घड़ी पर एक नज़र पड़ी
तारीख बदल गयी थी, वख्त अब डेढ़ था
आज न जाने क्यूँ, कल सा नहीं
मैं भी,  तुम भी
आज न जाने क्यूँ कल सा नहीं

वख्त कही फरेब तो नहीं
मैं कही मदहोश तो नहीं
एक मुस्कान सी आहट हुई मुझे
कही मेरा ही अक्स, मेरा मज़ाक तो नहीं
आज ना जाने क्यूँ कल सा नहीं

घंटी कुछ चार बार बजी
साँसे मेरी थम सी गयी
उन चार घंटियों के दौरान
धड़कन जैसे रुक सी गयी
वहाँ सुबह के छः बजे थे, जब यहाँ डेढ़ हुआ था

उसकी गहरी साँसो से मेरी
साँसे जैसे फिर जी उठी
एक दबी हुई सी आवाज़
उसने कुछ कहा और फिर सो गयी
मैंने लाइन काटी नहीं

उसकी साँसे फिर गहरी हो गयी
फिर कुछ धीमी फिर शिथिल हो गयी
गर कुछ खूबसूरत है तो उसकी मद्धम सी साँसे
अगले दो पल कुछ नहीं बदला
आखिर वख्त फरेब ही तो है

उसके करवट में अटकी हुई उसकी साँसे
उसी कि मुस्कान कि जैसे, शरारत कर गयी
उसकी धड़कन में उसी के होठो की ख्वाइश है
खिड़की से एक बार फिर उसे देखा, आसमां में
कोना बदल लिया था उसने, आज न जाने क्यूँ कल सा नहीं।


उन खूबसूरत पलों के लिए ,
सौरभ।

The Anger Spice

One usual afternoon, after two weeks of roaming around for the necessary stuff like University registration, Student card and searching an apartment to settle in the Strasbourg city, I boarded onto a tram from Gare Centrale, towards Illkirch, unaware of the consciousness that was guiding me towards the right direction.

I could hear the tram doors slide close behind me. I was tired, perhaps not from the stuff I have been doing after my arrival in France, but from the chaos I have been living and facing since last couple of years. My eyes searched for a place to sit and they found one in front of an old woman. As soon as I arrived at that seat, an old man sitting next to the old woman stared at me with his strange dull eyes and kept his cane on the seat in front of him, the one next to me. It acted as a kick to bring me back from my dreamland. 

Did the person just put his cane on the front seat just to avoid me from sitting there?

‘Yes he did’, I answered to my own question. 

I gazed at his more than eighty year old eyes. I could see nothing, but irritation. I passed a smile without being reciprocated. He stared back at me with the determination that he is not letting me sit near the window. I was not trying to. The old man was indeed very old. He was sporting an Ushanka, a Russian winter cap, but seemed to be French. He cleaned overflowing saliva from his lips with the tissue tucked in one of his fists. At times, he would simply suck it back from the sides of his mouth, instead of cleaning with the tissue. Skin has left the hair roots on his wrist as the retreating tide leaves the beach to dry and become the dead sand. His sight rivalled feelings of disgust and pity in my head. I realized that the old woman on my front seat has left, only when the man shifted to her seat, now directly facing me, instead of the earlier diagonal position. 

Somebody giggled and my attention and thoughts shifted to the other side of the tram. They were a bunch of teenagers, teasing each other in French, probably over the pimple marks, half of them were developing and rest half will probably develop soon. The old man seemed to be unaware of their presence so did the teenagers of his and mine presence around them. Then it occurred to me, that he noticed them before I did. This is why he shifted his seat, in order to not let them sit near him and with this he shifted his cane to seat, he has been occupying earlier. 

The chemistry among teens soon turned into a fun rift. One of them pushed the other two and they would have hit the old man’s head from the back. To my surprise, the old man avoided the impact by moving ahead on his seat, as if he could see what is happening behind his back. I wondered what he will do next. I did not have to wait for too long to see the action from his side. He turned slowly and scared the teens with his cane. 

I wondered if I just saw a smile on his face, instead of anger, but I was not sure. The teens have got their toy by this time. They started to dance and shout as soon as the old man sporting the Ushanka turned his back on them. They will shout, come very near to him, but will remain far enough to be away from his reach. The man showed his cane once or twice again, but it just boosted the teens. The old man got up and balanced himself on his cane. All the teens, except one, ran to the other side of the tram. The other teens watched him from a distance. The old man tried to hit the teen with his cane, without any success. This probably boosted the courage of teen with the pimple marks. He became louder. For the next few minutes the old man sporting the Ushanka and the teen with the pimple marks danced on each other tunes. I wanted to get up and shout on the teens, nevertheless something inside me made me feel that this is all right and I remain unmoved. I happened to look at my reflection in the glass window and I saw a faint hint of smile on my face. The old man’s movement to get the teen, promoted from feeble to decent attempts, but they were still just attempts. 

“Next Station, ‘Leclerc’”, announced the programmed computer voice of the tram. The teen needed to get down there and therefore moved towards the door. The old man like an experienced hunter was waiting for his prey to fell right into his trap. The teen managed to hit the open button without getting hit, but could not get out. Then he rushed towards the open exit with full energy. The kid was sure in old man’s reach and there was enough time and he hit the teen, only to be able to touch the sleeve of his jacket. The teen got out, turned back, enough to be away from the cane’s reach and made a duck face. The old man looked at him and the doors slid back to close. The old man kept standing there, with his cane’s support for another couple of minutes. 

He came back and took his seat and smiled at me. He definitely smiled at me. I could see life in his old dull eyes. I closed my eyes, only to open them an instant later to confirm that I understand. We both smiled in unison. He got down at next station. I waved a good bye at him and he reciprocated with a big smile.

I found the answer to my puzzle, over my own anger; I have been trying to answer since last few days. 

Sometimes anger is just the right spice missing in the curry of life.
Tak.

The Beast of KioKaKu

Scene 1

The white man in the woods finally encountered what he was looking for. His dirty brown pants did not tear when he slipped off the small cliff. Slowly with one hand on the ground, he climbed up and perched his head to see if it was there and then he saw it. The beast with the black fur, blood in its eyes and canines grinding each other took a step back, attained the position to attack and roared.

Although this was what exactly he was hoping to see for years, yet his blood froze with fear. In the same instant he recalled the first time he heard the story of the Serpent Wolf of the White Woods and how he discarded it. Being a renowned zoologist, and a specialist on Evolution of dogs, he laughed at the story and was certain that it is a myth or at most a delusion of a drug addict.

And the beast took a step back, attained the position and roared and with the roar, drops of beast's saliva encountered Sau Rabh, otherwise known as 'The Archaic Kangaroo or TAK, face. The Archaic Kangaroo was a name owing to his old fashioned looks and all time jacket attire, the front pocket of which loaded with all the things needed to survive.

With the cold touch of saliva on his face, his senses came back to present and he realized that the beast is ready to attack. He blinked and the instant his vision made sense, he leaped out off the cliff. Thankful, he was, to his more than human reflexes. But he cannot be lucky all the times and for that matter only, he has to concentrate. TAK knew if he runs, he is dead. If he panicks, he is dead. If he looks away, he is dead. He decided to hold his ground. He bent over his pelvic, lowered one of his knees, straightened his head and stared back furiously at the beast. This was when he realized how magnificent the Serpent wolf or whatever this creature, was.

Fierce cold black eyes, which shine like Silver in night, ghostly demeanour and the ready to kill stance along with the razor sharp steel claws, not to forget the canines gave it the attire of every bit of beast. TAK had seen and studied a variety of dog families, which are present or were present at any point of time. This beast seemed no different in the dark, yet there was something, which fascinated him to the core.

Whatever the case, either a new species or not, right now his first priority was to save himself from this one and its pack. 

“Wait, where is the pack? The beast has not growled and signalled for the pack yet. It would be better if I can escape before the pack arrives or even before there is a signal. The only weapon I possess right now is an Army knife (one of the two things needed to survive) and that is strictly for my survival”, he said to himself.

He moved almost as fast as he thought in his brain, reached his survival pocket in the jacket, took out his cell phone and pressed 123#, the code to activate a particular frequency of infrasound, which only some animals including Dogs can hear. Different frequencies can make them exhibit different behaviour. TAK got an infrared device fitted in there, just for such cases. The Beast moved a step back, opened its leathery wings and disappeared into the woods. He knew it would come back and probably it can track him.

Back in the tent, which was on an anchored boat, still floating in the water, distant enough to avoid getting attacked by these so called Serpent Wolves, TAK was brainstorming. He was not sure after encountering the beast once, whether the arrangements he made to avoid these creatures are sufficient or not. The fact remains that these dense humid forests are present on the small island of Kiokaku, which appeared suddenly on the map of the earth in mid eighties, in Pacific Ocean. It was not that, they were there and nobody discovered them in all those years of expedition by Spanish and British sailors, especially when these islands lie on the stretch between Australia and Japan. Probably these islands miraculously appeared as a result of underwater volcanic explosion. The only bunch of Japanese sailors which arrived there after getting stuck in sea storm, were the first and the only people to report about the myth. They were thought to be missing for five months, after which they arrived back, all alive except one and with them came the mysterious stories of SERPENT WOLVES. 

Geological evidence suggests the age of island, no more than 25 years. In 25 years after its birth, the island has groomed itself with mangrove vegetation and a variety of bird species. Still it is not enough to maintain a population of beast like a wolf or serpent wolf or whatever I saw, on this island.

The nearest inhabited land is the southernmost islands of Japan, which are 500 nautical miles away which is a long distance to cover for anything and no such creature exist in Japan.

Scene 2

The captain of the fisherman troop was a man of reason. He has never believed in myths of the sea, which most sailors do, such as beautiful and poisonous mermaids, who will lure the sailors into illusion and then feed on them or ghostly islands or suddenly appearing rocks to be crushed with. He has always believed that all these visions are a manifestation of spending a long time away from land and has nothing to do with sensible reason. A man too long away from family and company creates his own world to entertain in and does not even realise when he starts believing in it. For the same reason he refused to believe in, what his own eyes experienced.

The serpent wolf

The first and only humans to land and survive were the sailors with this captain. Some of them saw serpents while others saw wolves. The beast was fiery red eyed, said one of them. It was swift and wicked exclaimed another. 

It was black like midnight darkness and had a split tongue and razor sharp teeth.

Stop putting your imagination there, shouted the first one, ‘Seems like you saw a serpent’. We are talking about a four legged beast here, ‘Black fur, red eyes and extremely ferocious, a wolf’.

Soon all sailors were divided into two bunches except a few and all they were arguing was about it being a serpent or a wolf.

Few others saw beasts of different sort. It was a huge monster, one of the few exclaimed. It had wings. The others from this rare group had their own opinions about it. Nevertheless nobody from the two large groups paid heed to this useless crowd. But all of them agreed that there is a beast on this island and it is ruthless. They were all surprised that none of them was dead though. Every single one of them felt broken to the core of their soul. On the shore they made a huge pyre which the coast guards followed and rescued these broken souls. On their return voyage the myth of serpent wolf was born and the island of KioKaKu became the forgotten and abandoned island even before it was properly discovered.

Three days back, when The AK arrived, he had enough food and other appropriate things with him. For three days TAK tried and roamed around most of the island but could not spot any beast. There were no pug marks or faeces or anything, which would point towards the existence of a beast as described by sailors. On the third day, he found some burnt bones. He took some in a sample bag and kept in his belt. Tired, he returned to his boat only to find it upside down.  AK rushed towards the boat, turned it back with all his remaining energy and then started looking for the food bags. Everything was gone. Tired enough to hunt, he tried to sleep. 

The AK has to either hunt or search for food on this lonely island in order to survive. He forgot about his search and instead started looking for something to eat. He made traps, but was unable to catch the prey. Hungry, tired and frustrated he shouted in the dark. He recalled the times when he was too busy with his obsession.

‘Do you want something to eat now’, his wife asked?

‘How many times I have to tell you, not to come to me’, he shouted back.

But you must be hungry.

Just leave the damn food here and leave.

The AK recollected the day his daughter left him. He did not bother to ask her to stay. If TAK has ever loved anybody beyond understanding, it was her. She turned to him with watery eyes. He looked away, plugged ear phones, and turned the sound to maximum. I don’t have time for your emotional crap. Whenever you are back in your right state of mind, you will come back. His daughter uttered something; TAK saw her lips move but could not hear her.

‘I am getting late’, he shouted, shoved her off to the door and thumped the door on her face.

TAK recollected the last bit once more.

I love you, Daddy. I will always love you. His daughter uttered.

Irked with himself, he shouted and slipped off the small cliff and this was when he saw the beast.

Scene 3

Ensconced in his boat, his thoughts kept wavering. It was not really the beast which bothered him. The thoughts of his wife and daughter bothered him. It has never happened before. Hungry, tired, frustrated and unable to concentrate further on the evident danger, he shouted once again. To his dismay, the beast appeared on the boat, the next moment. He looked around, the tent was not torn anywhere. It became dark and all he could see was the anger in the beast’s red eyes. The beast roared. He was scared. It is time.

“I love you, Daddy. I will always love you.”

The beast disappeared and the lights appeared.

Next morning he collected some roots to eat and caught some fishes and started his journey back home.

Scene 4

The beast is a part of us. It unleashes in different forms. The beast is just an outer reflection of what hides beneath our skin. In everyday life we carry smiles on our faces in the public sphere, while in our evolved brains which some refer to as mind, we analyse, judge and plot, sometimes unconsciously, but with a specific purpose in mind.

The beast had no pack. This is why it was alone and that’s why it did not call for its pack. The anger, jealousy and pride can be a manifestation of circumstances but once the beast reveals itself there is nobody to be blamed. It’s the beast itself and it has to face the brutality of being the beast by being lonely, more lonely than ever before. 

The beast has no patience, has a sharp tongue and is extremely unstable. It comes out there just to destroy.

Yet, as all other beasts this one can also be tamed. The dragon can be kept under the bridge with the virtue of silence and patience. The Archaic Kangaroo simply glazed at the moon. He is not without sins and he saw his own inner beast as Dragon owing to his conversations with all those sailors and his imagination which probably was influenced by all the fantasy works he likes to read. He reminisced the times his daughter used to stare the moon and ask, 'Daddy, when will I become like the moon.' He looked up again and the serene look of the moon appeased him down.

The beast is a part of our inner self. The one sailor that was weak enough to survive his own beast was consumed by his own friends when hunger unleashed the beast within them. The bones which TAK found matched the deceased. He realized that the only humans having spent time on this island were the same band of sailors and no animal but humans cook their food on fire. The burden of consuming one of their own destroyed their souls and the beast of the island laughed in its victory.

TAK.