Darkness Revisited - The Moment

Our brain gives us the power to visualize things without a movie screen. In real life we can only look at one screen, but in our brain we are simultaneously able to see a lot of different screens.The events which had taken a couple of hours or may be days, may be months to finish can just be visualized in moments. Imagine the power of brain, the kind of multitasking it performs. This power reaches its zenith during the last moment - Death. Everything that has happened happens once again and this time it all happens in a moment. The moment of death provides the life its climax.

Recently I have been fascinated by the concept of Death. It is as true as the life is. Its just a moment, yet it complements a whole lifetime. The more we are scared, the more we will be thrilled by the beauty of that moment. Everything would vanish and everything would make sense and all of it in a moment. There it comes like a flash and you seem to lost in it forever.

When I am writing this post, I smile at myself. I have the luxury to live my life without the hardships, I have seen in lot other lives, yet I write this note, because I can afford the luxury to write this note and think in this manner. There are millions out there who struggle to get their second meal of the day and I sit here, nicely in air conditioned rooms to think, express myself and write my blog, yet I don't think it takes away the beauty of their moment.

Its the moment which is entirely yours, nobody else has even a bit in it. Nobody needs to fight for it to own it, as it was always theirs and always will be, till the eternity. All the lies vanish and only the ultimate truth prevails - Death.

The Blue Hood!

There is somebody in the blue hood,

'could see the black mark,
& the shining metal
Lips pierced &
a flash of fire in the hands,
I think its me
a funky version of me
trying to weld the connections

the blue hood is falling on the face,
couldn't see the eyes thus,
spotted the ring though
reflecting the flash,
the serpentine S,
I think its me
in the dark humid cave
trying to weld the connections

Standing, stiff,
His hands with the flash, steady
trying to weld the connections, perfectly
but the heat 's too much
to continue dreaming
I open up my eyes
all covered in the sweat
& my fingers trembling.


Saurabh.

From Stroll to Stride

On the wheels, I whirl, I spin, I move
Clouds too whirl, then darkness spins
A lightning bolt, then the deafening sound,
Then it pours,
N the fire flies go dim
I dont amble, I dont whisk
Opening my hand, gawking above, I dont decline
Three winks! Drenched n detached from the me wrenching myself,
I wheel as  "The Lance Armstrong"

Heavy pours invite a stroll
Cats and Dogs pouring down dismay Rats, ROFL!
Oust as Prince Zuko, I stroll
Surrendering myself to  the Zephyr
Same trail but with virgin looks
Hypnotic green, drenched, raise me to the Oblivion
Shimmering in the distant are two dim lights
N I tramp like " The Supertramp"

Beginning of the ultimate inception, I touch
Extending my arms to the cries of sky
Dont know the destination of this alley
Trying to think what 'm anticipating
Though without any charge on my shoulders
Flickering in the near distant are two lights
I hike as " The Aron"

'm I tears, I dont know
Even the silence has sulked
Nothing's in my head
Green n Brown, Pink n Purple hues
Repose the folioles, within
Distant lights are passing by now
I stride as " The me"

To the Aisle,
where birds peep, cheep, chirp, quaver, tweet n warble
From the stroll to the stride
's a short walk of hues n blues
The fringes have passed by
Arena's clear n so 'm I.


Saurabh.

The Start!

I do not care, whether I die today or tomorrow,
For I had my share of joys n sorrows
I do not care for bliss n boons
For I had my share of dooms n booms
Lows n highs, Ups n downs, failure n success are cycles in life
Death is just another phase,
‘Life n Death’ is just another cycle
 N Death’s just the gateway to another life
I do no fear death,
For I have died countless times before
I do not fear losing life
For I have lived it
I do not long for heaven
For I have mine with my parents
I am not scared of hell
For I am a devil myself
I am not leaving my friends,
For I am treasured in their memories
I am thankful
For I had such an imperfect life
The Imperfections n The Flaws are just a way back
To the round trip of Perfections n Laws
Death is not the end,
It is just a way to walk back to life
I do not care for love n hate
For I had my walk through the garden of stings n springs
I do not fear death
For I am ready to embrace it, the way I did life
I do not care, whether I will die tomorrow or day after tomorrow
For I had my share of joy n sorrows

Saurabh.

A reason to celebrate!

Stupid is as Stupid Does!
--Forrest Gump.

Four years back, when I first watched this movie, I had no idea how time will unfold itself before me. I had my dreams with me then, I have them with me now. Though I have no idea which one of them is going to come true, and in which order. I was walking then, I am walking towards them, as I write this. I believed in myself then, I believe in myself today. I believed I can write my destiny, I still can, though I don't want to write it myself anymore. This movie brought all the moments I have passed through and all the situations I have been through, sad, glad, depressing, rising, all the friends (gladly I don't see any enemies, from the position I stand) I met during all this time. The fine best moments, I had with my juniors, stupid I was, definitely was. Every moment I spent with them is a gift to my later life. My bloody finger stunt, who could ever forget that. Then some friends whom I can always look back and smile, just by recalling them and the conversations we had. Some friends who dared to call me a stupid, as I was, in front of everybody, anybody, anywhere, and believe me that made me feel glad. A few I told everything about myself (I mean all I knew about myself at that time) and know about them (of course all they knew about themselves at that time). Of course, all the time I spent in IIT, my best favorite friend were Chocolates. I never left them and they never left me. They always helped me in getting my things done, took me out of my depression several times and gave me the time of a lifetime. Dibesh, I always hated you for being so perfect ut in course of time I have seen your imperfections and I love you for them. Then the leaving part, I still do not know how I felt, but I remember Ashwani , his tears, when I was leaving. He didn't felt ashamed of crying, being a guy and he cried. One can call me anything, but I felt good when he cried, made me feel kind of important.

Then came a easy part, deciding about career. Punjab was definitely fun. I can literally see every moment I came across with Rahul , reading Ayn Rand, going to dhaba next to Lucky dhaba. I didnt knew its name then, how can I recall it now. Rahul abusing me from his room, unknown of the fact, that my parents are with me, in my room. The trip to Dharamshala, the most unique trip I ever had. Smuggling you inside LPU, Rajasvi from those water clogged fields in post mid night was definitely worth it. Sumo, Chocolate Cigars, something, Sumo stuck in the small river we tried to cross, I think that can sum it up.

Germany was definitely a journey worth taking. Nobody in the history of MPI's had got drunk the night before the interviews. But everything happens for a first time and it did too. There are incidents, I would define them as accidents, when every one of us becomes mature, I would say one starts to loose their innocence. So it happened. I matured. Swati, Roli, Ankita, Parkash, you are the craziest and loveliest people around. Crying was never that much fun, Sonal.

The Five Bastards started with only one bastard, eventually increasing to five. The two Italians, one German and an Iranian and sometimes a pretty Ukranian, the restaurants we visited, flammkuchen, oberursel, whenever I think of it, I am able to smell it, right under my nose. The stupidest talks we had, I can never imagine them without you, Bastards! Thorsten, I miss the conversations with you. Badminton was some sport I tried in Frankfurt, Thanks Badminton, but you are not fun without my usual Badminton buddies.

Fucking awesome Frankfurt! I have adored you, the way I love Jaipur, the city I was born. I miss your streets, I miss shopping (oh yeah, I am a shopaholic guy, I love watches, sport gears, novels and anything which has an element of NEW feeling in it, or everything which reminds me of my sweet memories) with Roli, it was fun, how we used to persuade each other to shop under the pretext that we are stopping each other.

I could literally see all this streaming before my eyes, while watching this movie again today.

And if people say, If I do not get over my past, I am stupid, then I would reply,
Stupid is as stupid does..:P

Tak.

Life is definitely a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
--Forrest Gump

I realise, I am definitely a man of celebration, as I was quoted this by a old friend of IIT, whom I met accidentally at NCBS, Bangalore.

IN BRUGGE

Up the tower,
In Brugge.

On the flow,
In Brugge.

Wander the streets,
In Brugge.  

Kiss a stranger,
In Brugge.

Drink till Dawn,
In Brugge.

Throw on the way,
In Brugge.

Pee in the river,
In Brugge.

Over the Bridge,
In Brugge.

Play the booty,
In Brugge.

Fuck the destiny,
In Brugge.

The Same!

Bee sting on a frost bite,
Noise of fallen leaf in silent lake,
Feel of the first string,
First Broken string of guitar,
my first proposal & your denial
feels all the same!


Tak!