Kamra number Chauranve

बड़ा सा, कुछ घन सा
जामुन का वृक्ष था, झंझाड़ सा
दिन भी थे, कुछ लम्बे से
अकेले से गर्मियों की छुट्टियों के

बस ऐसे ही रविवार की दोपहरी को,
मैं अपने ख्वाबों को इठलाता, पाव हिलाता,
बैठा हुआ, कमरा नंबर ९४ के बहार
आँगन गरम है, पाव के नीचे की मिटटी नम है

सुगन्ध भी है, कुछ भीनी सी
सामने का आँगन है, बैंगनी जामुन सा
कोयल भी है और अन्य अज्ञात पक्षी भी
उन्हें अपना एहसास कराता, मैं अपनी सिटी की धुन से

लिख रहा मैं अब यह
क्यूंकि वो एहसास था कुछ अपना सा


सौरभ!

The Company

Hidden is my mask,
beneath my own face.
Is the reality deluding?

Tears coz of a bug,
the bee, wish not flee,
else, eyes wont weep.

Blinding my sights,
I could see inside,
else, the vision play jokes.

Pumping blood in my veins,
the cold heart in warm blood.
Heart, if warm, I bleed.

Warmth of a hug,
if not, I feel,
waver of icy air.

Closeness of a smile,
the company, if not, forever,
I refuse to exist.

Bangalore as it is to me

The sky 's dark
I wonder if I 'll see Dementors
Instead, steering through the canopy
drops come pouring by, washing all my sins
Smell of Vada Pav intoxicating my thoughts,
though there is none nearby
Hanging in the air are thousand twinkles
as if stars stolen from night sky.


Never witnessed,
so many shades of brown and grey
The leaves rustling
sound like bollywood tastes
Li'l helicopters flying up and down
guard my landing
from the enemy warblers around
as if 'm president of United States.


Passing through the alleys
I testify dwindle of flowers, white, red and purple
With warmth of filtered sun on my face
I feel my time in heaven prepond to this date
Seen life arising from yellow, blue and black
Petals transforming into wings
The butterflies abound
buzz my way around.


Saurabh.

Humans and Life as BITCH

Humans are truly unique and fascinating creatures. The basic instincts of "fear and death, love and sex, hunger and eat" has evolved to an unprecedented extent. With these comes the evolution of all our senses, which present us with the reward of highly evolved emotions, or the curse in disguise. This in turn means emotions relating to touch, see, hear, smell and taste. I wonder if the theory of synesthesia (interconnection between senses) can be extended to relation between senses and emotions following a particular sensory experience. The following are my observations. I might be wrong, but then, 'To err is to Human'.

I will start with illustrating some examples. Each example will point out a specific quality of humans and Life. The first one is rather a simple one. When a foreigner comes across a street serving his country food, the smell not only triggers the view of his own country but also a lot of old stories/incidents related to that place pour in.
So when somebody tells me about letting go of past, I just smile. I have realized its always going to be with me in the form of my senses and memories flooding in, because of them. Memories have an important role in Life's role as Bitch. But if we stop trying to let go, may be, we can be at peace.

Another example which might not have a direct connection is about an ill person, lets say suffering from as simple and common as viral fever, soar throat, sneezing etc (leave aside the problems like Sinusitis and Migraine) and he is among people whom somehow or the other way, he has helped and stood with them or has a strong emotional bonding. What does one expect?

An average human needs pampering. The stroking of hairs by a friend or just sitting near gives a feeling of warmth and good being. Definitely medicines have their roles in curing, but emotions do have a role. A kid misses her mother/father the most, when he/she is sick. And pampering provides a kind of mental relief which medicines can't. Of course its the other way round as well. This example can be extended to depression and frustration. There is a Bollywood movie, "Munna Bhai MBBS" featuring Sanjay Dutt, son of late actor cum politician Sunil Dutt, released in early half of the last decade. The protagonist is a faker pretending to be a doctor, treating his patients with hugs and by providing the feeling of belonging somewhere by being their friend and standing with them. Of course he was not able to treat patients with cancer, but was indeed able to help them by providing them the peaceful moment of death, every human deserves.

A song has the capability to retrieve memories associated with the time of its experience. Some songs evoke the memories of friends, because they sung it together countless times, while some other songs evoke memories from a particular period of past, as the person encountered it during that time. This result in day dreams and we humans experience a movie without an actual screen. We, bloody humans! We are so used to flashbacks, that we even plot flashbacks in our movies. Such flashbacks are quite common in our daily life. I personally consider the moment of Death as the most vibrant moment of the cycle of Life and Death. I believe it the moment where we see all our life in a single flashback. Imagine the beauty of the moment. 

But rose comes with thorns and Life comes with situations created by another life (other humans). I have experienced people who get lost in between a conversation and these are people who have seen a lot in their lives. Ask me, how their Moment of Death would be? I don't know! But I can imagine it as simply beautiful, as these are the people who understand the true worth of life, people and peace. As humans we experience love unlike any other living organism. We have its significance not only for reproduction, but we have gone far enough to enjoy it as recreation. I think the term 'love' only applies to humans, as all other organisms, love would mean reproduction/sex and vice versa (with some exceptions). Dolphins are the only other animals known to perform sex as recreation. But this is not all. Our emotions make us even more evolved and vulnerable, with respect to love. We depend on our spouse/partner, not only for reproduction or recreational sex or for parental care of our kids but emotionally as well. Sex itself has evolved as a powerful mode and flux of emotions, leading to influx of other emotions and this is why in some societies sex is encouraged as a way of meditation. Besides, Humans have variety of love forms. We love our friends, family members, parents and other structures of human society unlike any animal pack. With love comes hatred and disgust. Believe it or not, but hatred and disgust have no existence, they are just byproducts of love and trust. This part is the part, for which a lot of people term life as bitch and Life is indeed a Bitch.

One of my nice friend's mom got cancer when she was too young to understand and handle it. She eventually lost her physically. But I believe she found her back in her poetry. Her poems are painfully beautiful (for lack of better and unique word). The pain of seeing a dear one die slowly over the years is the one of the worst possible punishments inflicted upon humans by the mother nature. But when I see her, talk to her, I realize, the same part of life has made her strong enough to stand against any other situation in Life. I am a huge fan of the way she perceives life. Another of my friend experienced domestic violence on his mother, (his grandparents tried killing both his parents in front of him) when he was six. Since then he experiences the same in his nightmares. The same guy experienced his mom getting a mild heart attack and father on bed for three complete years after an accident and lot more. Life is a bitch! But who would have guessed that these nightmares are his strength now. He never let them go, because they fuel his anger against the social environment in his surroundings. The same nightmares give him the courage to stand out alone against popular beliefs. The other person I know as a extremely strong personality is another of my friends. Her family experienced financial instabilities and rose to a decent position after lots of sacrifices. Life again played its favorite role of being a bitch. Though I know her today as the purest soul around and a true free bird. The way she sees the world around her can make an average human believe of the divine truth and the ultimate divine power.

Life is a bitch, but the key is to enjoy it like a dog.

Woof Woof!

The Other Side of the Story

We humans are proud of things which are the cause of greater sufferings in our life. The best example being "consciousness" which makes us different from other animals. But consciousness is what brings art in our world and moreover the ability to appreciate, enjoy and perceive it. Art, on the other hand is not every human's slave. That blessing is reserved to a few lucky ones only. Some of them, the world knows today as Michelangelo, Picasso or M F Hussain etc. while many others have lost their names to brutal time. Some of these never wanted to be famous and others didn't stand a chance.

Who designed Sphinx of Egypt? How many of you know the name of the guy who designed Taj Mahal! (Oh, it never crossed my mind)

All I mean to say is there are people in the world who are unknown and not familiar but their works continue to astonish us. When I found the subject of this post, I was amazed, because in the years I have known her and taught her, I never got to know about her art. Once I knew about her art, I went back home and showed the pictures to my sister in law and I was even more surprised to know that my sister in law has similar talents. Now this is embarrassing. Funny part is we all appreciate art but when a kid wants to follow it lifelong,  most parents become insecure and they are not wrong, as all they want is their kid's well being. They know the society and they have seen more, than we have. But whatever, Indian parents do not like anything off the leash, Medical and Engineering still being the favorites as they don't see anything else, specially something as lame as being an "Artist" as a career option. Its the attitude of society that matters and society is made up of individuals, so its the attitude of individuals which make the attitude of society.

The other side of the story is for every girl who fails to express herself or does not express herself in the wake of the emerging conditions around her. But true passion is the key. Dreams do come true.   All you need is STRONG WILL.

Time to fulfill the promise. Its for you and all the girls, who want to live their dreams and live them.

Here is some of my student's work, go through it, and please write back if you liked the work or in case you are interested in knowing more about her work. Her resources are diverse ranging from daily items to Gemstone powder for her art. Try to spot newspaper rolls, sponge, toothpaste drawings and much more. Here are the some pictures for you. If you see a camera flash, blame it to my photography skills.

Kids, here it goes for you. I hope you will like it :).

Nib Painting

Tress

What to say

Only she can elaborate

Kisna

Guess whats used for this

Some of her work

Pen Stand, Toothpaste art

Costly it might be, Gemstone powder are the different colors

Cheers,
Saurabh.

Soldier of Fortune

Born to be a Soldier, of Fortune
little did he know,
roamed around the cities of desert
with the colors & music of sand

Amidst the clanks of Kanche
& strums of Gulli Danda
little did he know,
he was born to be a soldier, of fortune.


Lone, he moved, authoring his own strokes,
sorting the terrene riddles,
little did he know,
whats waiting for him, next

The storms of desert erasing his footsteps,
come to rest in the sands of time
little did he know,
'A stitch in time saves nine.'

The Loner clamped the company of sailors
He danced on the deck, savored the crab, relished the salmon & fancied the crazy claim
little did he know,
accidents do happen, out of the blue

The horizon on the sea, beautiful,
waves, calm & composed
little did he know,
face facts of the sea, chivalry of Poseidon, deceit of pirates and rivalry of sea & desert.


Born to be a soldier of fortune,
fighting a lost war
little did he know,
he will never be a loner again

Accidents do happen & will never cease to happen,
All good things comes to, who he waits
Born to be a soldier of fortune,
little did he know.



Saurabh.

Conversations! (for the, by the, of the, Research student)

An old friend after having some regular chit chat and greetings, asked me about my current lab. How is your new lab.? Are you fitting in? 

(How can I tell him/her that I always fit  in the lab, somehow just not the Boss.. :D)

He continued, " Are you satisfied?

(Tell me one research student satisfied with his lab and Boss at the same time, :P. And I will tell you, you know what, its not the Boss's fault too. I have heard it a lot from respectable personalities, some of them retired scientists of a premier research institute in India, that G N  Ramachandran (Fame - Ramachandran maps) was a horrible guide. When I say horrible, please don't imagine your Boss. He used to ask his PhD students to work from 7 am to blah blah and a lot of more blah blah. Oh! Did i just interrupt your interest? Boooom. You thought you are going to read some shit about some great personality. Nopes.. these things are fun only worth listening from fellow research students. Well when I was gossiping about this with my flat mate, I got to know that his mother was a PhD student under G N and she told him that C V Raman, Boss of G N Ramachandran was more of a tyrant. People who think G N was something, C V would have been a real monster to them. So, you see, my point is G N behaved as his Boss did with him. This is why I think that there is no point in abusing the Boss, because some day we might also become like them, and then there will be others abusing us. :D)

After a flash of all this I thought of replying, "Yes, I am", instead I went ahead with changing the topic.

Are you done with shopping for your wedding? (He is getting married soon. Its a punishment for a punishment (PhD), yet a dream of every research student.)

But he is quite strong willed person, ignoring my question, he continued, " Are you planning to join a PhD./?/! (Since there were no punctuation marks, I thought of all of them, but couldn't get it anyways.)

Of cos, 'm trying.

 He continued,"You have to change your life." 

(That I did, when I thought of coming to research.)

But I went ahead like this, " What are you talking about? (I really had no idea, there are so many things in my life, what to change?)

Are you trying to get a PhD?

Of cos, 'm.

Then join a PhD?

For that, I should get a position.

I will give you an advice. 

("Ok, here it comes." I thought.)

Change your life./!/? (I hope, by now you know what it means.)

Explain.

You know what I am talking about. (For God's sake and Devil's heaven, I don't know, really)

This is not what we have been taught.

Explain in detail, don't talk riddles.

I think I am very clear, you have to change the way you think. OK! let me re-frame it. You have to change your path, the Path of your life.

(Oh, damn it, its too late to leave Science, I can't even appear for any of the civil services now.)

What can i do? What are you talking about? (Its like an Immunology class I used to take, where the Prof. used to jump from one thing to another unrelated thing and after a while I used to loose track of the original. I can bet, even the professor used to.)

You can do a lot! Don't waste your time on all these. Time is very precious. You have to start thinking something on other lines. If you want to join PhD, then be direct.

(Oh God, finally I got somebody. with whom I can discuss about her. Oh God, finally somebody is interested in my old, boring, weird story.)

I wish I could waste my time on her. But I have a lot of problems to deal with besides her.

I am not talking about her. (Day Dream crashed). She will be yours, if you are truthful and not stupid.(However lame, but it felt good)

After talking about the research and the life associated with it for a little while longer, we said good byes and here I am to write all that off.

TO BE CONTINUED..
(in the next Conversations!)

Saurabh.

Note - This is a spoof of the conversation I had with my friend. In case you find it boring, its because, I spiced it with the flavor of a normal research student's life and you are definitely a research student then.