Bindiya

'I don't think those things happen now a days'. He argued back.

My lips took a curve and I am sure satire spilled from all over my face. A thought crossed my mind.

'I brought her here to bring the matter to you people so that we can get some advice about this', said the tall, dark and handsome old man. The innocent looking girl standing next to him appeared to be the subject of the conversation.

'Lataa ji! It can not be better as you are here too. We were not expecting you. Yet, I considered giving you a call once I was back home. We came to meet Anjali ji', continued the old man.

The woman being addressed, Lata ji, looked at the another woman, named Anjali, in the group of four people. Lata didi, a dog's tail never becomes straight. He still abuses her. He still beats her, replied Anjali, sensing the question in Lata ji's eyes.

Lata ji looked towards the girl. The girl simply folded her sleeves and there were marks all over, as if a mad dog was beaten by a mob. Two salty water drops rolled out of her eyes, and kept rolling till they were exhausted to roll further down her neck. She did not cared to wipe them. Lata ji and Anjali took her to a nearby room and she uncovered the marks concealed by her clothes. The marks on her soul made their way to light through the tears on her expressionless stone face.

What have not I done to nourish this relationship. His mother went to jail. I stood with him. He started drinking even more, I held on. He started beating me even more ruthlessly, I looked at my two kids. He lost his job, I started going to Beauty Parlor to earn for my kids. He will take all I earn, yet I will survive on the money, I will hide from him. All this because of the fact that I did not want to leave him, initially because I loved him and later for the sake of my kids. I do not want my kids growing up in the absence of their father.

'Why you went back to him, when Mausaji took you back?' asked Anjali.
'Anjali didi, I agree Papa took me back. He even enrolled me into dance classes so that I can learn and teach later on, to be independent, though my husband will keep coming back and shout in front of Papa's house. This became a routine. To add to all this, Papa wanted to remarry. As you know, after Mom passed away, there is nobody to take care of him, as we are three sisters and we do not have a brother. Papa always wanted a son and he regrets it even more after mom passed away. So one day he asked me to go back to my husband. Previous evening, my husband visited him and assured him that he will never assault me again. My father knelt to his request.'

'Once I was home, the hell turned into something which the hell itself will be scared of. Now I can not live with that monster. My kids live in fear. I was with him, so that my kids live in the shadow of their father, not a monster. He will be making jokes, one moment and since I will be cooking, I would not be able to pay attention and for that matter, won't be able to laugh. This is enough to wake the monster in him. He will laugh at his own joke and the very next moment he will simply start beating me in front of my kids. He will use anything that is within his reach to break the hell apart on me.' she said all of it without a pause.

Lata ji gave her some money to buy a cheap mobile phone and asked her to report in Women's cell and to be strong this time. 'Bindiya, you are a grown woman with two kids. This is your future and your kids' future. I can support you but I can't lend you, your part of strength. That has to come from within. You have tried enough to save this savage relationship.

Two weeks later Lata ji found herself in the company of  Bindiya's maternal grandmother and uncle. They complained about her condition. Bindiya has not taken her decision yet.

Saurabh Tak.

Pani ki Bottle

ख्वाबों मे  खोया हुआ ,
कहीं उलझा हुआ था मैं,
लाल बत्ती पर रिक्शा रुका,
पर मेरी सोच हिली नहीं

मेरे दृष्टी कोण में एक बच्ची 
ने तब प्रवेश किया
कुछ बोली, मैंने कुछ सुना भी
ऐसा नहीं की देखा नहीं, देखा भी

उसने खाली हाथ से मुझे झंझोड़ा भी
मैंने सुना भी, देखा भी
पर कुछ समझा नहीं
चूँकि खोया था मैं अब भी

लाल बत्ती अब हरी थी
उसने एक नज़र और देखा
और फिर तेज कारो से बचने को
रोड पार कर उधर चली गयी

कुछ धीरे से मैं जागा
मस्तिस्क पटल ने पिछला एक पल दोहराया
एक बच्ची छोटी सी, मासूम सी
एक हाथ मे गुलाब लिये

झंझोड़ कर मुझे बोली
पानी, पानी दे दो बाउजी
प्यास लगी है,
पानी दे दो

एक पल में मैं कुछ सोच न पाया
बस थेले से बोतल निकाली
लड़की ने जाने क्या सोचा
और फिर एक बार देखा मेरी और

भागी उस यातायात में
तेज गाड़ियों  के बीच से
बोतल ली और चल दी
फिर न देखा, न फिर दिखी, बस जैसे गायब हो गयी 

The Question still lingers..

Clutched her hand, in mine
Brushed her index, with my thumb
and finally the stupidity became words
I asked

Have been in this world for long,
I want a world of my own
Would you be that?
Would you be that?

The answer,
quite sure,
I knew before
yet

The question still lingers,
in the aura of the silence
in the beauty of the moment
in the warmth of her touch

Sheepishly she snapped,
what if, I accept
Our story 'll be,
just another one of thousands

Aye,
it 'll be one of the thousands
though
it 'll be the only one in my world.

Entangled in herself,
Beaming in her past,
the one glaze she passed
made the answer quite clear, yet

The question still lingers,
in the aura of the silence
in the beauty of the moment
in the warmth of her touch.


 Saurabh.

Kamra number Chauranve

बड़ा सा, कुछ घन सा
जामुन का वृक्ष था, झंझाड़ सा
दिन भी थे, कुछ लम्बे से
अकेले से गर्मियों की छुट्टियों के

बस ऐसे ही रविवार की दोपहरी को,
मैं अपने ख्वाबों को इठलाता, पाव हिलाता,
बैठा हुआ, कमरा नंबर ९४ के बहार
आँगन गरम है, पाव के नीचे की मिटटी नम है

सुगन्ध भी है, कुछ भीनी सी
सामने का आँगन है, बैंगनी जामुन सा
कोयल भी है और अन्य अज्ञात पक्षी भी
उन्हें अपना एहसास कराता, मैं अपनी सिटी की धुन से

लिख रहा मैं अब यह
क्यूंकि वो एहसास था कुछ अपना सा


सौरभ!

The Company

Hidden is my mask,
beneath my own face.
Is the reality deluding?

Tears coz of a bug,
the bee, wish not flee,
else, eyes wont weep.

Blinding my sights,
I could see inside,
else, the vision play jokes.

Pumping blood in my veins,
the cold heart in warm blood.
Heart, if warm, I bleed.

Warmth of a hug,
if not, I feel,
waver of icy air.

Closeness of a smile,
the company, if not, forever,
I refuse to exist.

Bangalore as it is to me

The sky 's dark
I wonder if I 'll see Dementors
Instead, steering through the canopy
drops come pouring by, washing all my sins
Smell of Vada Pav intoxicating my thoughts,
though there is none nearby
Hanging in the air are thousand twinkles
as if stars stolen from night sky.


Never witnessed,
so many shades of brown and grey
The leaves rustling
sound like bollywood tastes
Li'l helicopters flying up and down
guard my landing
from the enemy warblers around
as if 'm president of United States.


Passing through the alleys
I testify dwindle of flowers, white, red and purple
With warmth of filtered sun on my face
I feel my time in heaven prepond to this date
Seen life arising from yellow, blue and black
Petals transforming into wings
The butterflies abound
buzz my way around.


Saurabh.

Humans and Life as BITCH

Humans are truly unique and fascinating creatures. The basic instincts of "fear and death, love and sex, hunger and eat" has evolved to an unprecedented extent. With these comes the evolution of all our senses, which present us with the reward of highly evolved emotions, or the curse in disguise. This in turn means emotions relating to touch, see, hear, smell and taste. I wonder if the theory of synesthesia (interconnection between senses) can be extended to relation between senses and emotions following a particular sensory experience. The following are my observations. I might be wrong, but then, 'To err is to Human'.

I will start with illustrating some examples. Each example will point out a specific quality of humans and Life. The first one is rather a simple one. When a foreigner comes across a street serving his country food, the smell not only triggers the view of his own country but also a lot of old stories/incidents related to that place pour in.
So when somebody tells me about letting go of past, I just smile. I have realized its always going to be with me in the form of my senses and memories flooding in, because of them. Memories have an important role in Life's role as Bitch. But if we stop trying to let go, may be, we can be at peace.

Another example which might not have a direct connection is about an ill person, lets say suffering from as simple and common as viral fever, soar throat, sneezing etc (leave aside the problems like Sinusitis and Migraine) and he is among people whom somehow or the other way, he has helped and stood with them or has a strong emotional bonding. What does one expect?

An average human needs pampering. The stroking of hairs by a friend or just sitting near gives a feeling of warmth and good being. Definitely medicines have their roles in curing, but emotions do have a role. A kid misses her mother/father the most, when he/she is sick. And pampering provides a kind of mental relief which medicines can't. Of course its the other way round as well. This example can be extended to depression and frustration. There is a Bollywood movie, "Munna Bhai MBBS" featuring Sanjay Dutt, son of late actor cum politician Sunil Dutt, released in early half of the last decade. The protagonist is a faker pretending to be a doctor, treating his patients with hugs and by providing the feeling of belonging somewhere by being their friend and standing with them. Of course he was not able to treat patients with cancer, but was indeed able to help them by providing them the peaceful moment of death, every human deserves.

A song has the capability to retrieve memories associated with the time of its experience. Some songs evoke the memories of friends, because they sung it together countless times, while some other songs evoke memories from a particular period of past, as the person encountered it during that time. This result in day dreams and we humans experience a movie without an actual screen. We, bloody humans! We are so used to flashbacks, that we even plot flashbacks in our movies. Such flashbacks are quite common in our daily life. I personally consider the moment of Death as the most vibrant moment of the cycle of Life and Death. I believe it the moment where we see all our life in a single flashback. Imagine the beauty of the moment. 

But rose comes with thorns and Life comes with situations created by another life (other humans). I have experienced people who get lost in between a conversation and these are people who have seen a lot in their lives. Ask me, how their Moment of Death would be? I don't know! But I can imagine it as simply beautiful, as these are the people who understand the true worth of life, people and peace. As humans we experience love unlike any other living organism. We have its significance not only for reproduction, but we have gone far enough to enjoy it as recreation. I think the term 'love' only applies to humans, as all other organisms, love would mean reproduction/sex and vice versa (with some exceptions). Dolphins are the only other animals known to perform sex as recreation. But this is not all. Our emotions make us even more evolved and vulnerable, with respect to love. We depend on our spouse/partner, not only for reproduction or recreational sex or for parental care of our kids but emotionally as well. Sex itself has evolved as a powerful mode and flux of emotions, leading to influx of other emotions and this is why in some societies sex is encouraged as a way of meditation. Besides, Humans have variety of love forms. We love our friends, family members, parents and other structures of human society unlike any animal pack. With love comes hatred and disgust. Believe it or not, but hatred and disgust have no existence, they are just byproducts of love and trust. This part is the part, for which a lot of people term life as bitch and Life is indeed a Bitch.

One of my nice friend's mom got cancer when she was too young to understand and handle it. She eventually lost her physically. But I believe she found her back in her poetry. Her poems are painfully beautiful (for lack of better and unique word). The pain of seeing a dear one die slowly over the years is the one of the worst possible punishments inflicted upon humans by the mother nature. But when I see her, talk to her, I realize, the same part of life has made her strong enough to stand against any other situation in Life. I am a huge fan of the way she perceives life. Another of my friend experienced domestic violence on his mother, (his grandparents tried killing both his parents in front of him) when he was six. Since then he experiences the same in his nightmares. The same guy experienced his mom getting a mild heart attack and father on bed for three complete years after an accident and lot more. Life is a bitch! But who would have guessed that these nightmares are his strength now. He never let them go, because they fuel his anger against the social environment in his surroundings. The same nightmares give him the courage to stand out alone against popular beliefs. The other person I know as a extremely strong personality is another of my friends. Her family experienced financial instabilities and rose to a decent position after lots of sacrifices. Life again played its favorite role of being a bitch. Though I know her today as the purest soul around and a true free bird. The way she sees the world around her can make an average human believe of the divine truth and the ultimate divine power.

Life is a bitch, but the key is to enjoy it like a dog.

Woof Woof!